Apple Seed Faith

*Originally posted on previous blog on October 4, 2018

"...wrote this letter, finally decide to send it. Signed, Sealed, Delivered for us to grow together" - Common (The Light)

For some time, I have had others tell me that I should write a book based on my interactions with my kids. The thought of starting a Fatherhood Blog has also crossed my mind a few times, but I could never find the direction and focus. I can honestly say that recent events have given me just the direction I needed.

My wife and I have been married for 7 years, from this union we have been blessed with two beautiful, intelligent, talented and driven daughters. Every day with these girls is a blessing I do not take for granted, but my wife and I talk often of having that son. We know that it is not that easy to determine the gender of your child, so we hold tight to the faith that he will come.

Backtrack to that recent event I mentioned earlier. My wife and I decided that it was time. It was time to finally try for that son. The name had been determined long ago. We are both planners, and with that we always wanted to make sure that every detail was in place before we began trying again, but realized that certain things you just have to go for and believe that God will do what he promised. So...we went for it!!

Bringing life into this world is a responsibility that is not to be taken lightly. Bringing life into this world can be extremely stressful. Bringing life into this world is an honor. So with that, when my wife told me that she was pregnant the emotions were naturally all over the place. To say the least I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with joy and excitement.

Very quickly that overwhelming feeling took a turn into more nervousness and doubt as my wife brought to my attention some changes in her body. Things that were not present with the two previous pregnancies. While she checked with doctors we realized it was a chance that it would be a miscarriage. That is news that no one wants to hear. As the tears began to flow the mind began to wonder if this was real. Could it really be? Could my child be gone? Could I really feel this much pain over something only about the size of an apple seed?

At 5 weeks pregnant, the baby is roughly only the size of an apple seed. A mere 0.13 inches from end to end. How can something so small make such an impact? How could something so small change you? How could something so small push you to your purpose? My answer, very easy!!! We all have heard about that mustard seed faith. Jesus said, “...If you have faith no bigger than a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”(Matthew 17:20). Nothing will be impossible for you. That alone means the world!!

Although, it was determined that we lost the baby. I hold onto the fact that the baby fought as long as it could. My baby used that faith and fought as hard as it could. If my baby can fight, why can't I? No bigger than an apple seed, but brought something out of me that nothing else could. A push to do more. Not to say that I have not already been giving my wife and kids everything I could, but even I knew there was more for me. A source of untouched potential that I haven't brought to the surface. I trust God that no matter what, nothing will be impossible for me.

It is truly amazing how God uses the situations in your life (Good and Bad) to teach you about yourself. To teach you, to pull from you all that is within you to LIVE! If God can give that fight to something so small, who says HE can't do the same for you?

My babies have all taught me great lessons. I am truly grateful for all my blessings. I urge you to continue to fight! Push forward and with faith the size of an apple seed, FIGHT!!